Anxiety and my demons

I suffer with anxiety. I can’t drink coffee, too many cups of tea and definitely not energy drinks because of it. The caffeine sends me loopy. 

I feel anxious every day- Wednesday was the worry of a parking ticket, yesterday was what I was going to do for lunch and today I can’t pinpoint what it is. I just am. 

I often can’t find a reason for my anxiety which is worse, I feel scared but don’t know why.

But it’s the physical side of anxiety that bothers me most, the black butterflies in my stomach fluttering away and making my stomach burn. 

I spend my evening worrying about the death of family members and the people I love, however irrational. I’m convinced there’s tragedy and loss around every corner. 

But I’m alright. I hold down a good job, friends and love my family dearly. 

I still have a social life and I’m not debilitated by it. It’s just a demon that perches on my shoulder, unwanted. Fuck off demon, you will not get what you want.